When we think about learning how to be more assertive, we usually conjure up an image of someone finally speaking out and standing up for themselves. No longer tolerating being disrespected or not listened to. In the movies we often see the hero or heroine do this as they face their greatest fears. This is […]
Assertiveness is so many things, and yet I think there are a few foundational pieces that we cannot ignore if we want to become more confident and speak clearly and firmly. Here I want to mention three components to begin working on if you struggle to speak your mind in a healthy way. Your Life […]
When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Young children are naturally assertive. A typical 4-year-old exactly what they think, feel, need and need, and they don’t really care too much what you think of that. Their insides match their outsides, of course until we convince them that that is not a safe thing […]
We’ve all been there. At the very moment we are in the middle of something very important, or when the sugar fell all over the kitchen floor, or a child is having a meltdown, someone else needs us. They walk in the room, the phone rings, or there goes the doorbell. We can panic, becoming […]
As I have been talking about, your early experiences shaped your experience and views of conflict. Remember you were little and your parents were big. Maybe there was yelling, hurt and anger. Maybe even abusive behavior. So here are three common reasons you may struggle to approach conflict in healthy ways. You felt the fear […]
This week’s episode is all about what assertiveness actually looks like, and most of that boils down to expressing ourselves in a mature, calm and thoughtful manner. It is the opposite of passive-aggressive or lashing out aggressive behavior. No snark and no slippery. Direct, calm and emotionally honest. Easy, right? Well, as we have been […]
Your voice is everything. It’s how you express who you are to the world, which is why it can feel like such a vulnerable thing. If there are wounds in your past where you struggled to have your voice heard, validated and valued it may be hard to feel like you can fully express yourself. […]
“It’s simple. Just tell them NO!” “Why do you keep allowing them to treat you that way?” If you’ve heard these or something similar, don’t be too hard on yourself for not having better answers…because there are very good reasons why it’s not “easy” like they contend. You’re afraid. And they don’t understand that. Because […]
I think boundaries are one of the most crucial elements of a healthy relationship, and as I’ve said before, I don’t think trust and connection is possible without them. Relationships with a high degree of conflict and toxicity will lack healthy boundaries. Outside of our actual behavior, we practice healthy boundaries – or play out […]
Ok so not the most glamorous thing for you to be looking at, but if you’ve been listening to the podcast and reading this blog, you already know that boundaries are at the core of healthy. They determine where you end and others begin, and if you struggle to have healthy ones it WILL show […]
