So often, we get into arguments with those we care about, and we don’t even know why we are arguing after a while. This usually happens when we are not doing great job of negotiating what we want and need. It usually also points to our struggle to honor the same for them. In order […]
Our brain automates about 85% of what we do. Therefore, it makes sense that over time we become accustomed to doing things a certain way, without really being conscious of what we are doing and how well it is serving us. We just do it because it’s what we’ve done. For example, look at your […]
Relationships in our lives range from those very close to us, to coworkers, neighbors and friends. No matter the relationship, healthy boundaries are a must if we want to have solid connections and emotional safety. But where do we begin? Focus on What is Yours, not Theirs. It’s so easy to initially focus out there […]
It’s so easy to think that we are simply stuck. That we don’t have too many choices, or at least we can’t see them as of yet. But if we want to make changes in our life big or small, I think what we really need to do is take a hard look at what […]
If you struggle with indecision then you know the panicky feeling…when you’re sitting with a large restaurant menu at a new restaurant and cannot make a choice, for fear of selecting the “wrong” thing. What if you don’t like it? What would others think if they knew you secretly struggled with decisions? And what about […]
We all want them to be committed. We want our partner, our friends, our kids and our coworkers to all be eternally committed to personal growth. To get some boundaries, to heal the old trauma, and to stop acting out immaturely when God forbid we need to confront them. Yes, we need them to be […]
Since the time we were born, we have craved connection. Originally we need to literally survive, because if we are not connected to the mother we may not be fed or cared for. That bond is what also affects the HGH or human growth hormone, so we also need the loving attention to grow and […]
Genuine love is about acceptance and respect – not control. I know we hate to hear that having “reasonable expectations” from a relationship should not make us controlling. Our needs are valid, and our boundaries solid and healthy. So what’s the problem? Well, the problem is not with what we want and need – the […]
We all hear about practicing healthier communication, why the skills are so important to having better relationships, but if you’re just learning about the more subtle and insidious ways we don’t connect well, where do you start? How do you do it differently – for real? I think it IS about splitting hairs, and getting […]
I know. It’s so frustrating. You keep drawing the same type of person to you. The ones who are self-absorbed, immature or too controlling. But why? Well, it’s no accident, and the key is getting super honest with yourself in a loving way, and to focus on having a healthier relationship with yourself first. We […]
